Say what you're looking for on a dating app plainly, early and kindly
By the Miragano team. Updated
The best way to say what you're looking for on a dating app is plainly, early and kindly. Pick the intent that fits you today, put it on your profile, add a line in your bio that sounds like you, and mention it again once a chat gets going. Being clear does not scare the right people off. It saves everyone time, and it means the people who match with you already want something similar.
Why does saying what you want matter so much?
Most dating frustration is not about attraction. It is about mismatched expectations. One person wants a relationship, the other wants a fun summer, and neither says so until week six. Nobody did anything wrong, exactly, but two people still lost time and some goodwill.
Saying what you want up front fixes that at the source. It filters for people heading the same way, and it makes the early chats easier, because the big question is already answered. You get to spend the conversation on the fun stuff.
What intent options are there on Miragano?
Every Miragano profile shows one intent. You choose from:
- Long-term relationship
- Short-term, open to long
- Marriage
- Something casual
- New friends
- Still figuring it out
All of them are valid. The only wrong answer is one that is not true. If you want something casual, saying so is far kinder than letting someone assume otherwise.
How does intent change who you see?
On Miragano, Discover only shows people whose intent is compatible with yours. Marriage matches with marriage and long-term. Long-term matches with long-term, marriage and still figuring it out. Short-term matches with short-term, casual and still figuring it out. Casual matches with casual and short-term. New friends matches with new friends. Still figuring it out matches with long-term, short-term and still figuring it out.
You can narrow Discover further in your filters, to just some of your compatible intents. So if you are open to long-term or marriage but really hoping for the latter, you can lean that way.
How do you write it in your bio?
The intent label does the heavy lifting. Your bio adds the human part: the tone, the why, the little details that make it yours. A good line is short, specific and warm.
- "Looking for my person. Bonus points if you like long walks that end at a bakery."
- "New to the city and keen on something relaxed. Show me your favourite bar."
- "Here to make friends first. If you know a good quiz night, I'm in."
- "Honestly still working out what I want, and happy to say so."
Skip the list of demands. "No time wasters" tells people more about your last bad date than about you. Say what you are looking for, not everything you are trying to avoid.
When should you bring it up in chat?
Early, and lightly. You do not need a formal announcement in your first message. Somewhere in the first few exchanges, once there is some back and forth, a simple line does the job: "I'm on here looking for something long-term, how about you?" It is a question, not an interrogation, and most people appreciate it.
What if you genuinely don't know yet?
Then say that. "Still figuring it out" exists because plenty of people are in that place, especially after a breakup or a big move. The key is honesty: use it when you are open to where things go, not as a polite cover for "casual only". People can tell, and they remember.
What if your intent changes?
Change it. You can update your intent on your profile any time, and you should when your feelings shift. If you have been chatting with someone and your goals have moved, tell them directly too. A clear, kind message beats a slow fade every time. And if you need a break from dating altogether, pausing your profile hides you from Discover for free.
Ready to say it out loud? Create your account, pick your intent and start meeting people who want what you want. Have more questions? Our FAQ covers the basics.
Questions people ask
How do I say what I'm looking for on a dating app?
Say it plainly, early and kindly. Choose the intent that is true for you right now, add a short line in your bio that explains it in your own voice, and mention it again in the first few exchanges of a chat. For example: "I'm looking for something long-term, how about you?" Clear intent does not put the right people off. It filters for people heading the same way and saves both of you time. On Miragano, your intent appears on your profile so matches know from the start.
Will saying I want a relationship scare people off?
It might put off people who want something different, and that is the point. Anyone who is scared off by "I'm looking for a relationship" was never going to give you one. The people who want the same thing will usually find it a relief. On Miragano, Discover only shows people whose intent is compatible with yours, so if you choose long-term relationship, the people you see are open to long-term, marriage or still figuring it out. Clarity narrows the field to people worth your time.
What does intent mean on Miragano?
Intent is what you are looking for, shown on your profile. The options are long-term relationship; short-term, open to long; marriage; something casual; new friends; and still figuring it out. Miragano uses intent to decide who appears in your Discover: you only see people whose intent is compatible with yours. For example, casual matches with casual and short-term, while marriage matches with marriage and long-term. You can change your intent any time in your profile, and narrow Discover further in your filters.
Is it okay to want something casual?
Yes. Something casual is a completely valid thing to want, and saying so honestly is the respectful way to go about it. The problem is never wanting casual. It is letting someone believe you want more. On Miragano, choosing something casual means Discover shows you people looking for casual or short-term, so you meet people on the same page. Add a friendly, specific line to your bio, keep it respectful, and you will have far fewer awkward conversations later on. Honest beats vague, every single time.
What should I choose if I don't know what I want?
Choose "still figuring it out". It is an honest answer, and lots of people are in exactly that place, especially after a breakup, a move or a big life change. On Miragano, it matches with people looking for long-term, short-term or also still figuring it out. Use it when you are genuinely open to where things go, not as cover for wanting something casual only. When you work out what you want, update your intent on your profile so your matches stay in the loop.
When should I bring up what I want in a dating app chat?
Within the first few exchanges, once there is some back and forth. You do not need to lead with it in your opening line, but leaving it for weeks risks wasting time on both sides. A light, two-way question works well: "I'm here looking for something long-term, what about you?" It invites an honest answer without pressure. If their profile already shows a compatible intent, the chat simply confirms it and adds the detail a label cannot, like how soon they want to meet.
Can I change my intent later?
Yes. On Miragano you can change your intent in your profile any time, and you should whenever your feelings change. Your Discover will update to show people whose intent is compatible with your new choice. If you are already chatting with someone and your goals have shifted, tell them directly as well. A short, kind message such as "I've realised I'm after something more casual right now" is far better than a slow fade, and it lets the other person decide what they want too.
What should my dating bio say about what I want?
Your bio should back up your intent in your own words. Keep it short, specific and warm. Try something like "Looking for my person, ideally someone who gets excited about a good bakery" or "Here to make new friends first, quiz night recommendations welcome". Avoid long lists of what you do not want, because they read as defensive rather than inviting. The intent label tells people where you are heading, and the bio shows them who they would be heading there with. Both together beat either alone.
How does Miragano match people by intent?
Miragano only shows you people whose intent is compatible with yours in Discover. Marriage pairs with marriage and long-term. Long-term pairs with long-term, marriage and still figuring it out. Short-term pairs with short-term, casual and still figuring it out. Casual pairs with casual and short-term. New friends pairs only with new friends. Still figuring it out pairs with long-term, short-term and still figuring it out. Compatibility has to work both ways, and you can narrow it further in your filters whenever you like.
Everyone here is verified. You're next.
Photo verified members, intent up front, and every safety tool free. Swipe fast. Date real.