How to choose a dating app when you want to get married

People who want to marry often worry that saying so will scare matches away. On an app where everyone states their intent, the opposite happens: you stop spending time on people who were never going to want the same future. So the first thing to look for is an explicit marriage option that the app uses for matching, not just a line people may or may not read.

• A marriage intent that controls who you see, not only a label.
• Verification, so the person behind the profile is real and recognisable.
• Lifestyle questions about children and other long-range plans.
• Prompts that invite real answers about values and everyday life.
• Free tools to report, block and check in safely before a date.

When you choose marriage as your intent, Discover shows you people who also chose marriage and people who chose a long-term relationship. Nobody looking for something casual, short-term or friendship is shown to you. Everyone has passed photo verification: a live selfie copying a random pose, matched to their profile photos and checked by a person when the automatic check is unsure.

Profiles include whether someone has children and whether they want them, which is one of the most common deal-breakers for people planning a family. You can also set the age range and distance you want in your preferences. Reporting, blocking and Safe Date Check-in are free for everyone. Details are on our safety page.

Your intent already tells people you want marriage, so your profile doesn't need to repeat it in every line. Use the space to show what life with you is like. Talk about the routines you love, the people who matter to you, and what you are working toward. A prompt answer about a family tradition, or the kind of home you picture, says a lot without sounding like a job advert.

Our guide on how to say what you're looking for has more examples of clear, kind wording.

Children, faith, money habits, where you want to live and how you want to share family life are all reasonable topics when you are dating for marriage. You don't need to cover them in the first chat, but by the second or third date it is fair to ask open questions such as "How do you picture family life in ten years?" Listen for specifics. A clear answer you disagree with is more useful than a vague one you like.

Pace matters too. Someone who talks about marrying you within days is showing intensity, not commitment. The people worth marrying tend to be steady: they reply, they plan, they turn up and they are the same person on the third date as on the first.

• Talk of marriage and destiny before you have met in person.
• Stories about being stuck abroad, money troubles or sudden emergencies.
• Reluctance to video call or meet, with a new reason every time.
• Any request for money, gift cards or help with a payment.

These patterns are common in romance scams, which often target people who are open about wanting commitment. The catfish guide covers the checks, and the FAQ answers common questions about verification and safety.